Benefits of increasing emotional intelligence in the workplace.

I imagine you’ve probably heard of IQ, but what is EQ?

Emotional intelligence, or “EQ” is essentially how we perceive ourselves and others, and interact within those relationships.

EQ is made up of 4 elements:

1.         Self awareness - ability to observe what we’re saying, doing and thinking as we’re doing it

2.         Self management - ability to regulate our moods, correct ourselves and have an appropriate emotional response

3.         Social awareness - ability to observe those around us with compassion, empathy and understanding

4.         Relationship management - ability to engage in our relationships in a healthy, constructive manner

As we are social creatures, cultivating this skillset is critically important as it determines how we present ourselves to the world, manage all the challenges that naturally come our way, and is a contributing factor in what “tribe” or social circle we find ourselves accepted into.

Because our emotional intelligence largely determines how we think, feel and perceive, I guess you could say it really influences the quality of our life and in turn the quality of our personal and professional relationships.

EQ also has a direct impact on our mental health - a person with lower EQ will tend to be more “reactive” due to reduced resilience and tolerance levels and will feel “stuck”, dwelling or ruminating on events and situations.

Prolonged states of depression and anxiety are common in people with low EQ, and they are typically quick to anger, all of which creates a negative ripple effect on the environment around them.

We all naturally shift in and out of different emotional states throughout the day, but low EQ will create large mood swings which feel very unpleasant and cause the need for coping mechanisms (seeking pleasure/dopamine) like alcohol, junk food, increased online activity (social media and Netflix), gambling or excessive spending.

This way of operating leaves us feeling very disempowered, causing us to try and manipulate the people and world around us to be a certain way in order to feel safe and secure or to placate the ego.

I’ve experienced this first hand many years ago and thinking back on that version of me, I feel a great sense of empathy because he was doing the best with what he had but was just going around in circles and was in great suffering, much of which was unnecessary.

What I came to learn within my own experience and where I was becoming stuck was, what I thought were the problems weren’t actually the problems - they were just challenges, obstacles or “life happening”.

The problem was all of the critical thinking errors I was using without knowing.

Also called unhelpful thinking styles or cognitive distortions, instead of seeing things for what they were I was looking at the challenges through distorted lenses and turning them into something more than they were.

This led me to feel at times like I was drowning but in reality, I was in shallow water and could’ve stood up whenever I liked if I wasn’t in such a heightened state.

Developing EQ

The focus within the western education system has been heavily biased on IQ - learn more, be more, earn more, have more, but we’re now noticing the impact this is having on ourselves, society, and the planet.

Placing so much emphasis on IQ is no longer sustainable, so we’re exploring other ways and ideas and what we’re learning is really interesting.

One revelation which is really important is that our IQ level is capped - we’re each born with a certain “intellectual ceiling” so our IQ test results can only reach a certain point (different for each individual).

Our EQ however is like a muscle, so the more we exercise it the more our capacity grows in each of the 4 EQ elements.

There is a general rule of thumb that suggests someone with high IQ typically presents with low EQ, however it doesn’t seem to apply the other way around for some reason.

Another note of interest is that if a high IQ is not supported by EQ, the IQ will have an adverse effect on a person’s life and they will experience more struggles and challenges.

So the focus is slowly starting to turn and we’re now beginning looking at EQ and IQ equally, and both as important as each other.

An example of this is occurring is in the classroom, with young children being taught meditation and mindfulness techniques and helping them to go within themselves, to gently notice, and allow things to pass, or to exist, and to remain equanimous (calm and composed, especially in difficult situations).

With these practices becoming the norm, future generations are going to be more equipped to better manage themselves and their relationships, but where does that leave the rest of us?

If devoting all our time to IQ isn’t sustainable, that suggests that change is on the cards however the irony is that those with low EQ often struggle with change.

That doesn’t mean it can’t be achieved, there just needs to be a pathway in place to help facilitate that change.

EQ at work

An experience I had of this was when I was asked to do some training with 20 managers of a company, all of whom were engineers.

Very smart people….highly intelligent, but in a “I know how to build things” kind of way.

What they were struggling with was how to communicate to each other and those they were responsible for managing, so they were able to come up with all the designs and blueprints for things but getting people to work together to bring it to reality was a big challenge.

There was a lot of conflict, disconnection, segregation into different groups….the overall culture of the company was quite toxic and as such, productivity was down and a lot of time and money being wasted. 

These people were tasked to construct tools and machines but were going about it in a very destructive manner which was counterproductive.

The challenge I had was that senior management knew there was a problem, but middle management (which is where the conflict was) couldn’t really see it, so I had to use my EQ (relationship management) to build rapport, understand objectively (without judgement) what they were doing and then offer to them a path forward. 

We began by discussing what we call the 5 Steps to Change:

1.         Awareness that there is dysfunction

2.         Acceptance that it is causing issues

3.         Motivation to create change

4.         Tools to put changes in place

5.         Capacity to adapt, and evolve, and move forward

“It’s not a problem until someone says its a problem” is a philosophy I came across many years ago and found it to be so valuable…. neither I, nor you, or anyone can help someone until they come into an awareness that something isn’t working, accept that they need help, and are motivated to go through the process.

So that was the starting point with this team of individuals who were working as individuals, not as a team.

Once it was reflected to them that there were a lot of areas of improvement for growth, productivity and a more harmonious environment, they were naturally attracted to that (which showed me they did have underlying EQ which could be tapped into).

With the first 3 steps to change in place and with no one feeling like they had done anything wrong, we were then able to offer the tools and strategies to “strengthen the EQ muscles” which naturally increased their capacity.

Once the individuals learned how to observe themselves and the red flags to look out for, they could then self-correct in the moment and remain present, calm and clear headed.

Then the collective was able to communicate constructively with one another, enabling them to solve problems, work together as a team, and ultimately produce the outcomes needed to achieve their goals.

Less conflict, less time off due to stress and poor mental health, less toxicity, less staff turnover, less turning up hungover, less diabetes and high blood pressure, less mistakes…. it’s funny how spending a little bit of time increasing EQ reduces so much of what is unnecessary.

A farmer yields more from his crops under optimal conditions and with healthy soil, so it’s not surprising when companies see the bottom line improving when the environment in the workplace is harmonious, efficient, healthy and somewhere people want to spend time and do what they do best

Because higher EQ is not natural in most of us or hasn’t been developed at an early age, it requires ongoing attention…. like learning a second language as an adult.

The old “use it or lose it” adage is quite appropriate, so developing a consistent practice is important which does ultimately become like second nature and takes much less concentration.

From here

If this resonated and you would like to explore increasing the EQ in your workplace, please visit www.myndfit.com.au/workplace-training-workshop and fill out the contact form, call 0448 339 662 or email hello@myndfit.com.au to organise a complimentary chat to discuss if the Workplace Training Workshop is the right fit for your organisation.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, and also please feel free to reach out if you have any questions or would like to learn more.

Nick Sutherland

Founder of MyndFit